In the last couple of years, I’ve earned the title feminist. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve become aware of a few issues, that only a woman faces and can understand. One of them being, having to dumb myself down, or be less than what I am capable of, just so that my male counterparts and romantic interests are comfortable. If I be myself, a young black woman, then I face the risk of being labeled a bitch. And I have a big problem with that. Because I’m not….
it was a female dog & I, Kaitlyn, am not that
I’ve seen this all too often and it bothers me. We’ve all been victim to the assertive male, walking through the door, demanding what he wants, and achieving great success and being looked at as a leader. And then someone like us, ladies, who walks through that same door, trying to be assertive, negotiating what we deserve, because, yes..we work 10x as hard, and instead of achieving that success and gratitude, we’re not labeled as a leader, but as a bitch.Or have you dated that man, that felt the need to tell you that you are less than him. And that he is the head of the household and of that relationship, and you have to sit, like a cute little lady and shut the hell up.
I’ve been subject to both. And I have a few messages for my lady-friends out there who struggle with the same thing on the daily. I’m going to share these messages with you because I can no longer sit here and watch my sisters lack in self-confidence because of their Resting Bitch Face…
1) Get Yours
Do not, EVER, feel like you are not capable of getting everything and anything that you deserve. If you put the hard work into it, then you better get your reward. Don’t let anyone’s judgements and ignorance get in the way of your goals
2) One of These Is Not Like The Other
Stop Comparing yourself and your experiences and your life to other peoples’. Because no two lives are alike. You’ve family, your past, your story is completely different then the next person and therefore you two will have different outcomes in life. What got you to this point, is solely your own so be grateful for your journey
3) Thicken Up
You have to grow a thick skin. I know I have… and I had to learn the hard way. Because people will feel the need and think they have the right to give their opinions about who you are as a person. They’ll tell you you’re too sensitive, too passive, too moody. And you need to be able to take that in, and let it go without getting upset.
4) You Are A Leader
Sometimes we fail to see the true leader in ourselves, because we’re constantly being overshadowed. We all have the ability to be leaders. Own it! And if people don’t get it or just can’t quite see it yet, thats okay. Give them some time. They need to catch up to you, you’re vision, and who you are as a woman.